top of page

Starting your Divorce with Mediation

Mediation is an alternative to litigating a divorce. Anyone can take this route, as long as clear it serves the parties’ respective interests and that of the children in the family. In most cases it probably will. A couple can start a divorce mediation process, from the moment the decision is made to uncouple, rather than after starting the litigation process. However it is always important to consult with an family law attorney right away, especially if there are trust issues pertaining to safety and potential property alienation. Mediation, should not be seen as a last resort in the midst of litigation, but rather explored as an imperative start to the divorce process.

When pursuing a process it is best to fully research and understand what divorce entails, and to be assured that your chosen mediator is adept at helping you to navigate the following:

Define the issues that will be involved in your particular case:

Children of the marriage:

  • Custody, visitation and child support issues

  • Parenting plans dealing with co-parenting issues – includes medical, schooling, religion, extra curricular, behavior, discipline, etc.

  • Transition plans and issues

  • When and how to tell the children

  • Age appropriate custody and calendar plans

  • Dealing with college age children and their needs

  • Children who are disabled

  • Guardianship and considerations in case parents become deceased

Issues of spousal support:

  • Who receives spousal support

  • Is the marriage a long term or short term marriage

  • How your circumstances impact alimony in the short term and the long term

  • When to terminate the Court’s jurisdiction to award spousal support

Community property and separate property:

  • Full disclosure and assessment of all assets and debts

  • Pension Plans requiring division – QDRO ‘s

  • Ownership and division of real estate

  • Business interests and ownership

  • High or low debt and who is responsible

If your financial picture is complex or involves significant comunity or sepearate assets, debts, and/or high income on the part of either party, it is important to ensure that the mediator is capable of assisting you to navigate toward a fair agreement. A good mediator will ensure that both parties are equally protected with the requisite legal advice from consulting or representing separate attorneys and other professionals, as the case may require. While mediation may not work in every instance, it is likely to work in most cases, certainly at some point and is absolutely worth exploring. Even if you are experiencing an antagonistic divorce, where you think mediation may not be possible- one never knows that a mediator may be talented and creative enough to help hone the conflict into a more productive process. In all instances, one must first be aware of one’s rights and duties. To ensure mistakes are not made, it is important to get separate legal advice from an attorney. In some cases, especially where the level of trust is low, or one spouse has more control over the family finances than the other, it may be important to file for divorce and serve the summons and petition immediately. A mediator or family law attorney should steer you in the right direction. In California law, the filing and service of a divorce summons triggers automatic restraints and prevents the alienation of property, including other protections, such as preventing a spouse from cancelling insurances. A competent mediator will help ensure that if the necessary protections are yet to be secured, at least the parties are aware of such and that they enter into an immediate understanding that they will act accordingly – that they will not make any significant decisions affecting community property or children, without the written consent of the other. Fueled by the motto, “divorce should not be the defining trauma of your life or your child’s life,” Private Courts Inc. is a mediation firm,with a mission to minimize the inevitable conflict brought on by divorce, by helping couples circumvent the negative attributes of the adversarial system.

Contact California Mediator Melanie Nathan at to set up a free telephone assessment to determine if your case can be mediated by Private Courts. Private Courts Inc. serves the Bay Area of California, to include Marin County, San Francisco, East Bay, North Bay and South Bay. READ MORE.

Featured Posts
Recent Posts
bottom of page